Hey There Beautiful!

Yes YOU….B E A U T I F U L ! You thought I was talking to someone else?

How often do you address or even acknowledge your beauty? When was the last time you looked in the mirror and expressed appreciation for the beauty in you, the REAL you? Do you spend more time looking at what you don’t like about yourself, your life, your situation, your house, job, hair, weight, city, family, relationship, or life in general?

Well?…… STOP IT! Just stop. It’s OK to not be happy with (fill in the blank), after all, it’s how we generate desire, evolve, change, and grow. Just DON’T LIVE THERE!

If you live in that place of dissatisfaction, the rest of you, the beautiful you, gets covered, like a garden of flowers. If you don’t control the weeds, the flowers will get covered and eventually they will stop growing all together.

Here’s an exercise for you…..

Feed the flowers: Every single morning when you look at yourself in the mirror, say “I Love You”. Try it. It may be uncomfortable at first. But keep doing it. The part that you are speaking to might say something like “who me? you talking to me? I haven’t heard from you in a while I almost forgot the sound of your voice.” Keep doing it. And, to make it even more powerful, say it at night right before you go to bed. Every. Single. Night.

That body of yours, the one you criticize over and over again; when was the last time you thanked it for moving you around, for supporting you, for carrying your ass everywhere? Speak to it as you would a child. Be nice, be appreciative, be grateful, and encouraging. If you don’t like something about it, conspire with it to change WITH you, not FOR you.

Pull the weeds: Every cell in your body is listening to your words. Your words are powerful, so use good ones, elevating ones, and helpful ones. STOP looking at yourself and saying things like “I hate my body” It’s listening to you. Bio-energetic changes occur with your language. Be nice.

Now don’t bullshit it either, it’s smarter than you think. Don’t go from “I hate you” to “I love you”. Ease into it by just saying “thank you”, then go to “I appreciate you”, and eventually you’ll get to “You Freaking ROCK!”.

Try It On. Go ahead. #TRYITON

State of mind

I’ve been hearing this phrase for a few years now; mindset, state of mind, money mind, etc… I often wondered what it meant to have a poverty mindset, or abundance mindset. Until recently there seemed to be cloudiness around what I was able to see within myself.

For the last 30 years I have been a student of the self; my being, my mind, my programs, my history, my belief systems, constantly on a path of self mastery. I have read more than I ever thought I could, took more classes, workshops, weekend events, healing modalities, did hypnosis work, the list goes on.

Then it hit me. I have been looking to “fix” something that I believed was broken within myself. The mere fact that I was looking for something pointed to what I felt I was lacking.

As long as I am looking for cures, help, fixes, changes, improvements, I am in a “broken” or incomplete mindset. The trick for me is to recognize that the habit of self improvement needs to be for a different reason than why it started.

I believe in a growth mindset from a position of power and not weakness or pain/fear. Learn, evolve, challenge current systems, and keep moving forward. Even rest needs to be part of this. Knowing when to simply play is important as well. Always give yourself time to enjoy the ride.

And STOP trying to fix yourself! You are perfect and you are on the right track.






Head’s Up

“My reality is collapsing”!

These were the words I said to myself as I started running this morning. It felt like what I “knew to be reality” was no longer valid. The ground I was running on was not the same, the view of my neighborhood was different, my stride was different, my breathing, how I felt about running, everything was askew.

Head’s Up

I noticed my head was up instead of down. I consider myself a head down runner. Why eyes are usually looking at the ground as I run. I guess it was important to see any obstacles ahead of time so I had enough time to react and avoid an injury. It also explains why I can run the same route without getting bored. Not today! My head was up. So much so, that as I thought about how high my head was, it went even higher, almost to the point of looking up. It felt strange and liberating at the same time.

I have been student and practitioner of NLP and other change strategies for a long time. Last week I experimented with a technique on an old, painful memory. Up till then I worked on this memory from the perspective of learning from it, forgiving, reliving it to “see” different perspectives, placing myself in different viewpoints, etc., but this new approach sort of obliterated the memory. This technique changed it in my minds eye, thus changing its impact on me and my life. I felt as though the pages in my instruction manual were going blank. I just looked at these blank pages, waiting for the instructions to show up. They never did. The pages were just bank, page after page, so I started writing.

I realized that I get to fill in the blanks. Since we do this automatically, it was exhilarating to be able to do it intentionally.  Who do I want to be? How do I want to handle stuff? What kind of leader do I want to be? Freedom, power, responsibility, adventure, and excitement were some of the feelings I experienced while looking at these blank pages.


Have you ever heard someone say: “if only life came with an instruction manual”? It does… we write it as we go. Sometimes by default, and sometimes on purpose. But we write it. How are you writing yours; as a reaction to what you experience or are you proactive?  Do you participate or are you a spectator? Who’s in charge here? Maybe you need to speak to the manager.









How you do anything is how you do everything

When you think about it, everything you experience is a relationship. Your relationship with your work, life, lover, friends, yourself, your pets, your finances, home, etc.  In fact, I can’t think of anything in life that is not in relationship with ourselves. Go ahead and try for yourself.

The degree to which you relate to yourself, or aspects of yourself, is the degree to which you relate to everything, or aspects of everything. You can be attentive to some parts of your life and not others. Love some parts and not others, are interested in some aspects but not others, or simply be indifferent. The “way” you relate is what is important. “How” you think and not “what” you think. “What” you think is a product of the “how” and the same goes for “how” you relate to your world, your life, or your experience with your existence. The relationship itself is the “what”.

How do you relate to “you”?  How does your relationship with others reflect your relationship with yourself? How is the world a mirror of yourself?

Try It On!






Paw Prints


The other day I saw a neighborhood cat sitting on my wife’s car. My wife hates cats, I’m indifferent. Since I grew up with them and can’t have one due to the wife’s cat allergy, I’ve just follow along in the “ugh, cats” attitude.

The next day I washed my car (love the car), only to see little muddy cat paw prints on my hood an hour later. My first reaction was anger. “How could this little stray/not-really stray cat walk all over my car. I had fantasies of throwing something at the cat to scare it from getting back on my hood; negative reinforcement (I know better, so I only thought about it). I just washed the paw prints off and moved on.

The next morning, the little booger walked all over my hood AGAIN! The nerve of that little hairball. Oh man! I was just shaking my head. I got in my car and I drove angry.

Attitude is everything

While driving I thought to myself. I don’t like the way I feel. This anger is bullshit. It feels bad. Why would I want to feel this especially when I have so many skills in changing my state? So I went to work. “What if I were a cat person?” What if I loved cats? I would think those little paw prints were so cute! Adorable little cat prints all over my hood. Imagining the cat waking around, wanting to be near my stuff, sitting atop my car, guarding it, waiting for me.

That changed everything.

Go ahead… Try It On.

What if your judgements were different? What would LOVE do? How would LOVE deal with it?





Watch Your Mouth

Do it

This is sort of a re-post from a few years back.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”.

This was the quote we were taught to say when we were younger (I’m 50) when someone would call us names. We used to say it like a little kid, nanny nanny boo boo. In the mean time, we would walk a way with this feeling in our guts, this pain, these burning questions, why didn’t that work, or why do I still feel bad?

It’s because Words Are Powerful…Period.

Words cause our nervous systems to respond. They cause physiological and neurological responses in our bodies. Good words, bad words, and neutral words. More importantly are the meanings we give those words.

Ask yourself if you would talk to others the way you talk to yourself. Would you?  Do you speak highly to yourself or poorly?  Do you nurture yourself, or condemn or criticize? Are you forgiving and compassionate or judgmental and disappointed? Choose wisely your words to yourself and to others, they are part of the palette we use to paint our worlds.






Jack of All Trades


The original quote goes: ” a Jack of all trades is a master of none, but often better than a master of one”.

I always felt that my proclivity to learning many things was a bad thing. Then I came across Emily Wapnick’s article and Ted talk on Multipotentialites. I am that…. for sure.  I have done many things, I learn about a lot of things, I am curious about many things.  Up until recently all of these things were purposeful, distracting, and in spite of a limiting belief. Once I resolved (removed) the limiting belief, I feel like a train running downhill. UNSTOPPABLE!

I still struggle with the stigma that I am a jack of all trades, master of none.  It’s usually referred to in the derogatory. In actuality, I am a Master Jack of All Trades.  I learn quickly and competently. I understand systems and how things work.  Then I came across the actual quote.  Interesting how our beliefs create our realities.

The common denominator of all the things I have done, not including the restaurant field, is that I fix things.  I have a knack for figuring out how something is supposed to work, finding the problem then a solution.  Cars, buildings, computers, people; just to name a few. Now I teach martial arts, fitness, self defense, and I am a peak performance coach.

My problem is that if something is not broken, and I need to figure out how something is supposed to work, the problem is not easily seen, hence, the solution is equally evasive. Example; marketing my business, and learning what works. I am learning what doesn’t work, and the trials are frustrating, especially when I am good at finding problems. In a way I need to create problems so I can identify them and try something else. Bring It!

Are you a renaissance man/woman? Shine baby, Shine! Be the Master Jack of All Trades!


…often better than a master of one.






Fall In Love


Original Post: 2/13/2015

When was the last time you fell in love?

You know, that feeling that flows through your entire being, the feeling that influences all your experiences?

Try This On:

Stand in front of the mirror, just like you do every morning, look yourself in the eyes, and say “I Love You”.

Do it!

Do it every morning for 30 days or until you “feel” it.

Go ahead! Make your day!






Q & A


Questions and answers exist simulateously.

Solutions and problems exist simultaneously. Most often the solution is in the problem itself.

Don’t search for answers… prepare for them. Answers are not “found”, they will show up when you are prepared for them.






The First Step Requires the Most Effort


Have you been struggling with that first step, putting off getting into shape, or starting a new fitness program?  How about a new way of eating or taking better care of your physical expression during your time here on this planet?  How many times have you started a new “diet” or exercise program only to succumb to the habit of late night snacks or big eye lunch orders?  How many times have you purchased a piece of exercise equipment only to use it as a way to save “clean” clothes from unnecessary washing? How many gym memberships have you purchased only to lose interest after a few months for one reason or another? Believe me when I say I’ve done all that and more.

It’s nearly impossible to “jump” from one level of vibration to another at the whim of a highly charged momentary desire for change. Especially if that charge is in a desperate place. After all, your current situation is a manifestation of all that you are and all you have been up to this moment. Imagine having the ability to manifest all you want and at the same time “un-manifest” all you have…that’s right….un-manifest!

How about trying a new way to make lasting change in your life;  One small step at a time?Fitness: Starting can be as easy as doing one pushup a day for the next 7 days.  Do them that same time every day (habit making); for example, every morning before you get ready for your day. Do one pushup. Once you are motivated to do an extra one, start doing two (but never do less than your last highest number), then three, and four, etc.  Before you know it, you’ll be pumping out pushups until they get boring.

Diet: Can be as easy as starting with a small change in quantity as well as a small change in quality. Portion control of one meal (usually your late meal) can make a big difference in how you feel in the morning.  WHAT you eat is more important than HOW MUCH you eat. Small changes start habits. (2% rule) Eating well is as much a habit as eating poorly. Good habits are as easily made as bad habits, except when conflicting with the bad habits.  When we attempt to replace those bad habits with good ones, it seems more difficult because we are so much more connected to the process. How, then, can we use this information to help us make better choices in our lives? One small step at a time… Go Ahead…Try It On!